What I Wish Beginners Knew
I'll admit I'm on Reddit a lot. Mostly I'm a lurker on the pole dance subreddit, because I enjoy reading about the topics that come up in the community, and seeing what moves students struggle with and what advice gets given. It's research, ok?!
Week after week, a beginner posts something like: Why was I the only one struggling in my class? Why is this so hard for me? Why don't I look as smooth as everyone else? Am I just TERRIBLE and HOPELESS?!
Here's the thing: we pole dancers work very hard to make things look easy, so is it really fair, to other dancers or to yourself, to expect you'll move like a pro after a class or two? I know that might sting a little, but it's worth asking yourself why you expect that. Thinking you'll have the same level of skill after one class discredits the work pole dancers have put in to get there, and it sets you up for disappointment before you've even had a chance to improve. You wouldn't go to a gymnastics class and expect to nail a perfect handstand just like the coach on day one, would you?
Ok, all that harshness aside, I am a hypocrite. Because I felt that same frustration and I still struggle with comparison sometimes. It took me a very long time to be able to invert and hook my knee cleanly. Looking back, I feel bad for my coach. She had to listen to me complain about not getting the right technique, and listen to me say that something was missing.
I later discovered that yes, something was missing: strength! Unfortunately, it wasn't some mystical technique secret I could pay $59.99 to unlock. Nail your invert in 30 days with this one trick! No, it was simply practice and strength. I just didn't want to admit that to myself, because I came from a background of aerial and weightlifting. Why was this "simple" trick so difficult for me? I watched women who'd been doing pole for a fraction of the time nailing their chopper invert, and I couldn't understand it. I had to be stronger, right? After all, I'd been working out for almost a decade!
It sucks to admit it, but I now realize I just didn’t have the core or upper body strength. I WAS strong, but I hadn't built up the SPECIFIC muscle engagement needed for the super clean invert I wanted. And while it can help, strength in one discipline doesn't transfer perfectly to another, and that was a hard truth for me to accept.
There's also a bit of nuance in a bodyweight modality like aerial or pole. Weight, size, limb length, proportions in general, they all make things feel different for each person. A tall person may have beautiful lines, but some moves may be way more difficult because of their long legs and arms. Pole sits and Superman are easier for polers with thicker thighs and harder for those with thinner ones. In contrast, moves with binds around the legs tend to be the exact opposite. Every body type has its own advantages and disadvantages.
Remember that your journey is your own. And it's cliché, but a popular phrase for a reason: comparison is the thief of joy.
